Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Running Through the "T"

Aside from getting beat by Florida, this is the most long-standing tradition in Knoxville. The Vols get high marks for their entry but major deductions for the game maxims which they recite (like a creed) before each game.


Monday, July 30, 2007

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Georgia Intro

There are roughly 35 days until college football gets going. To satisfy my CFB jones this week I will be posting the ways in which various teams enter/roll into their stadiums. The worst intro video that I found belonged to Georgia (UGA). The video is way to sappy for football. It includes phrases like "hearts, minds, & bodies," "unbridled excellence," and "new breed of bulldog." If you were to close your eyes and listen to the music only, you would think you were about to watch the Lakota attack Custer on the silver screen.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Feel Good Video Clip

I am ignorant of the subtle nuances of opera, but loved this video from Britain's got talent.


Ohio State/Michigan Hate Smack


Using the objective criteria of ticket cost, Ohio State vs. Michigan is the biggest rivalry in college football. This is also the only rivalry that can boast of a war between their two states. If the lyrics from the video below aren't hateful enough, feel free to visit The Dead Schembechlers website and check out some of the band's song titles.


Monday, July 23, 2007

Ole Miss Has Never Lost a Party

More College Football Hate Prose (UT vs.Bama)

I Hate Alabama
by John Keith Taylor

IT IS THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN. This is the week that I live for the whole year. The THIRD SATURDAY IN OCTOBER. For me, one of my main reasons for living and breathing as a Tennessee Volunteer Fan is sothat I CAN HATE THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE!
For me, BAMA not Florida, is Tennessee's nemesis. I HATE BAMA's GUTS. I HATE THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE with every word I speak, every blink of my eyes, every thought that I have, every breath I take, and every beat of my heart. I HATE THE ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE!!! I literally cannot stand the sight of 'em. When I first moved to north Alabama and was single, I glued an Alabama decal to the bottom of my commode in my apartment. It was a "natural law" on Saturday afternoon that you would sit around the apartment all day watching college football and drinking beer. It was a rule that you had to yell, "PISS ON ALABAMA" every time you went to the bathroom. (no, I didn't have a wife or kids at that time) It was even better when I had to sit down.
I HATE BAMA because most of their fans are a bunch of dumb a**, cousin dating, illiterate, rednecks who couldn't find Tuscalosa on a map of the State of Alabama if the Southeastern Conference Championship depended on it. Shucks, half of 'em probably can't find the State of Alabama on a map of the United States. They are so dumb that they proudly wear flip-flops and overalls out on the town to Walmart on a Saturday night because they can't tie their own shoes or zip up their pants. However, they proudly fly those BAMA flags from the window of their new 1997 Red Chevrolet or Dodge pick-up trucks with their BAMA bumper stickers on the rear bumper. The truck probably cost 3 times their annual income, but is worth 5 times more than the 1970's model house trailer that they proudly park it in front of next to a brand new satellite dish so they can watch their "beloved" CRIMSON TIDE play and fail to cover the spread against the likes of Bowling Green, Southern Miss, Tulane, etc., etc. on Pay-Per-View. Every once in a while, BAMA plays a really, REALLY, BIG GAME against seasoned, SEC opponents like Kentucky or Vanderbilt. Isn't it strange that one of BAMA's permanent SEC Eastern Division Opponents is Vanderbilt? Well, I guess the BAMA faithful can now say that their schedule just got tougher.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Getting Ready for College Football

A reflective essay about my state and my team, courtesy of Orangebloods.com ....

OKLAHOMA is a s****y little state that cannot produce enough quality football talent on its own to compete at a high level. Thus, their rightful place in terms of history, prestige, and modern football power is along side the Tulsa Hurricanes. However, instead of accepting their fate, which would be the honorable and respectful thing to do, they desperately resort to cheating to get the Texas athlete so their pathetic population can have at least one thing to take pride in and brag about even though it is a false misrepresentation that they did not legitimately earn. They can get a few scraps from Texas, we are all ok with that. But to have more than two-thirds of their team come from Texas and elsewhere while still calling it OKLAHOMA football is absurd. They should be ashamed, but they are proud and beat their chest instead. Ultimately, the SMU's, North Texas', Texas Tech's, and Baylor's of our great state are the ones who suffer because they are left taking the scraps. OKLAHOMA either needs to live or die by primarily recruiting the OKLAHOMA athlete or they need to lose the OKLAHOMA name and call it something else because they are not representing themselves. What if Argentina's Olympic Basketball team kicked team U.S.A's butt in route to a gold medal in the 2008 summer Olympics and did so with a roster full of Americans--Kevin Durant, Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnet, Lebron James ect. ect. and a couple of guys from Argentina? Would we all say "so what their players have to come from somewhere and there is a lot of talent in the U.S. and not enough in Argentina" and view it as legit Argentina basketball superiority over the U.S.A.? I hardly think so and none of us would accept them beating their chest and waving their flags in our faces full of false pride. However, too many seem to accept a similarly ridiculous misrepresentation and false pride chest thumping when it comes to the Texas vs. Oklahoma rivalry?

Ed Hochuli would never..........

Link to a picutre

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Do Not Mess with John Lovitz


I have nothing to add to this story. I just find it funny to think about a 50+ year old with the athletic physique of John Lovitz beating anyone up.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Love Your Enemy

My heart was warmed to find out this little nugget. You'll have to forgive me if I fail to pray for the "Longhorn Victory Ministry" this fall. I am glad to see that a faithful servant of the Lord is excelling on the gridiron. Here is a list of things that I would consider praying for brother Colt....

1.) That Colt will be long suffering
2.) That Colt will learn to endure hardship
3.) That Colt will learn to persist in the face of adversity
4.) That Colt can use his God given ability and bring honor to his family and church (In the Alamo Bowl)

Monday, July 16, 2007

Back from Florida

The Parks Family returned from our last trip of the summer Saturday. We spent the week relaxing with my family in Florida. Vacations at the beach aren’t what they were Pre-Josie/Jenna. Instead of carelessly flitting away hours reading and basking next to the surf we now spend our time monitoring the little angels.
The journey down to Florida was outstanding. All of our stops were organized and efficient. We ate lunch at an Arby’s drive through. While waiting in line for our food we sent the kids in to use the restroom. Everything went like clockwork and we put up a respectable 7:06 time (Columbia to Perdido Key). The solid effort and good teamwork helped to remove some of the sour taste from June’s debacle. The stage was set for a possible sub-7 hour return trip to Columbia.
On Saturday’s the trip home ran into early trouble. Just minutes into our trip Jenna soiled her diaper. By that time we were in Pensacola and had to wait to find an exit with east on/off access to minimize our stoppage time. Once out of Pensacola we pulled over on a county road, made the quick diaper change, and were back on the road asap.
For the next three and a half hours everything went great. At lunch time the plan was to pull off and hit a McDonald's drive through and get back on the road. As we exited the interstate, Amy saw that the exit also had a Cracker Barrel and suggested that we stop there. A stunned silence fell over the van. Looking at the girls in my rear view mirror I could see the disbelief and shock in their faces. Josie’s look seemed to say, “Dad, she knows that is a sit down restaurant where you wait for your table and your meal, right?” Jenna’s was equally puzzled, “I sat in my own poop for half and now she wants to throw it away for a veggie plate?”
We had a sit down family meal that included a ten minute wait to be seated. The final time on the return trip to Columbia was somewhere over seven and a half hours. I don’t know the exact time because I couldn’t bring myself to look at my chronometer once it hit 7:30. Same story as our trip to Oklahoma in June, solid effort going, disaster on the trip home. My team can’t close the deal. Phil Mickelson and the Dallas Mavericks think we can’t finish.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Mr. 3000!


Craig Biggio got his 3000th hit last week. Craig reached the milestone in style, going 5 for 6 in an extra inning victory over the Colorado Rockies. Craig is the 27th player in MLB history to surpass 3000 hits.

Now Biggio sets his sights on becoming baseball's all-time most hit batter. He currently sits at 284 plunks, just 3 away from tying Hughie Jennings. You can follow his pursuit of this milestone here at plunkbiggio.blogspot.com.